Sunday, March 25, 2012


Quite by accident today, I came across a woman's blog where she was writing about her son's life and death. Her son, Brian, died fairly recently, I believe and it was truly a is always the case when someone is called away before we're ready to let go. I had spent a number of years working in various aspects of Hospice, both in California and here in Oregon. One of my duties....wrong word here. "Priviledge" is more accurate..........was facilitating bereavement groups. Now there are many, many ways for each of us to deal with the death of a loved one. I feel there are absolutely no value judgements as to which might be better or worse. There ARE harder and harder and hardest. They all hurt and we deal as best we can. When a parent loses a child, I think we can all agree, that it's a knife that cuts into a parent's heart. When I was with our local bereavement group, I was shocked to realize that out of the 8 that were regularly attending, 5 had experienced the death of a child. That's a lot! There was one woman who's adult son had died quite unexpectedly. I could hardly believe it when she came to our meeting one week to say that she had put together a video of her son's life! She painfully went through all the photo albums she had and pulled out each and every one that revolved around her son's life. I was shockingly impressed at how she had met, head on, that incredible pain and hurt. Not only to put together a lasting memory of her son, but it helped her come to some small level of acceptance for herself. In examining every nook and corner of his life along with her connected heart, she helped heal others, also.
And now I've come across another courageous lady who is doing something similar. Rosaria Williams is a lady who lives here in Port Orford.........very well respected and admired. I haven't had the priviledge of meeting her yet except by computer, but impressed I am that she is writing a blog that will be healing to not only herself, I think, but to others as well. Most all of us, if we're old enough, have experienced the loss of a loved one. Some of us hold it in tight and are not comfortable in sharing our pain with others.......and that's fine.......that's the way most people try and handle it. But at times that pain can squeeze the heart so much that it feels isolating and we don't always know that those feelings and crazy thoughts are common and felt by others as well. That was one of the most common statements I'd hear from newcomers to bereavement...."I feel so alone.......I feel like I'm going crazy." Of course there is pathological grief, but we're not talking about that here. When we hear, or read what others think and much they miss the person gone.....what life looks like now and how they try to deal with it.........these are very healing and beautiful sharings in the face of such loss. I recommend to all that you check out this touching and so worthwhile sharing that Rosaria is writing........the blog link is ......... It will also hold some important musings that any of us might use in our own future griefs that might come along. We all seek happiness and healing, security and laughter.......Recovering, or at least coming to terms with grief can lead us to some measure of Acceptance. And if we're able to pass these healings on to others in word or action, then, welcome to the human race in one of it's most beautiful acts of giving.

Sunday, March 18, 2012


While Norm and I were touring different areas of Garrison Lake around Port Orford, we ended with one of the boat ramps where we could see two men down at the end fishing. We pulled in next to a SUV that had Alaskan license plates. We were going to a friend's for dinner that night specifically for me to meet a couple from Haines, Alaska, that Karen had while running on the beach. In finding out that we would be up in Alaska this summer and stopping off a Skagway, they graciously invited us to take the ferry over to Haines, where they live and work. As I noticed the Alaskan plates, I thought "I just bet these were the people we would be meeting later on that night" and sure enough, they turned out to be exactly that. We did talk a bit but the best was to come later over at the Compass Rose for dinner with McCoy and Marie from Haines, Nancy Fraser and of course Karen and Doug. Marie had brought some smoked salmon spread that was out of this world good. For the rest of the evening they entertained all of us with such wonderful stories of their very amazing life. They have lived in so many places around the country......from Florida to Texas, New Jersey to Alaska. Alaska is where they've lived and raised their family for the past (might be wrong here) 14 years or longer. McCoy is a commercial fisherman and a very independent soul at that.......lots of really incredible tales that would wilt the average soul. And Marie is cut from the same mold. They have a home here in Port Orford where they live for 6 months.......the winter of course. In another 4 weeks or so, they'll be driving back up to Haines and the 11 FEET of snow that is awaiting them.........and winter isn't over so who knows how much more will fall. It was fascinating to hear what a different type of life they live, how they look at things and their culture, really.......

I am sooo looking forward to visiting! I found some wonderful blogs as well as a fantastic wildlife photographer's work to view. The photographer is Tom Horn and his website is Eagle Valley Photography. Heather Lende is an author from Haines who writes for a Woman's Day magazine, an extensive blog and lots of links to various Alaskan a book that I ordered "If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name"........about life in small town Alaskan town, Haines. Plus, a wife and mother to 5 and grandmother to 2. Another robust soul!

These are some photos I took yesterday around the lake. The one on top is of some early pussy willows breaking into bloom...........And as par for this winter, we had a bit of snow this morning followed by hail. Then a sunny and warm afternoon. I give up trying to figure out what might happen next!
The photo just above is of one of the ramps and I loved the sort of abstract lines, reflections and various floatings on the top of the water.
I was remembering how after I went up to Alaska a number of years ago for the first time, I came home to Port Orford and recognized how much of nature was the same here.........not as immense but a definite show of "The Pacific Northwest" compared to my home state of California. We do live in such an incrediblely beautiful place......and don't have to deal with half a 6 months or so with snow and harsh conditions. I'm thinking it should be just perfect up in Alaska this summer.........
Am I excited???

Oh, yeah!!

Hope everyone has a terrific week ahead!

Sunday, March 11, 2012


It usually comes in February, but this year Mother Nature is so confused as to what's the proper weather to be wearing, that you just have to consider her a little schizophrenic............and I hope it passes, although I have my doubts. While everyone was tempted to begin planting new flowering plants and spring vegetables we need to remember that we still have more winter weather facing us. And this coming week is proving that the "sucker hole" is short lived for now. A return to lots of rain and wind here on the south coast will have us looking at plant catalogs and designing new plans for our gardens in anticipation and probably some frustration as well.

A couple of friends and I were to meet for lunch at one of our favorite 'haunts', Siren's, only to find a sign on the door stating that the staff were all laid up with the flu. I hope they're all feeling better now and I know from personal experience how nasty the 'bugs' are this year. I have to say, though, that I admire the fact that they did close down and save their customers from contacting something, too. A very conscientious thing to do. Hope you all get well soon!

With Siren's closed, we went on down to Griff's. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful, bright day. Some visitor's had a family of their dogs with them, which were pretty amusing. Momma pup was in the habit of collecting rocks. She had one that was almost bigger than her mouth that she was carting around and showing off like it was a great sea treasure she's discovered. All the dogs were having a lot of fun just jumping around the rocks of the jetty, tangling up in a mass of limbs, toys, and mouths. I was somewhat envious of their agility to leap around like that!

On Facebook, Sarah, had posted that she had made up some "Dr. Pepper pulled pork." I'd only had pulled pork once in my life but the title of this dish had me looking up the recipe to make it myself. Sometimes the name of a dish just pulls you in, doesn't it? I mean, there's my "Chocolate Lumpies" that I have to bake up every Christmas.......and the name lives up to the results. Anyway, the Dr. Pepper pulled pork was delicious. Some friends over to share in the experiment was fun, too. Easy dinner, great company and lots of laughing........

One of my projects this winter seems to be doing some re-decorating using French Country as a guide. I'm trying to put the brakes on, though, with the paint brush in looking around at all the wood furniture that might be improved...........I'll have to live with the results for a long time and need to pull back my impulsive nature right now. I enjoy some of the changes though. Norm and I've decided to just not bother anymore with trying to sell our place. The real estate market doesn't look like it's going to improve in quite a while so rather than thinking about a future home, let's re-invent the one we have!

Interesting event a couple of weeks ago when I saw online that my ex-husband had died. That sure takes you back down memory lane! Even though I hadn't seen him, or been in contact with him in decades, it's still saying good-bye to a part of your life that is no more. Funny how in examining some of the past history, the lines between who was at fault, who did what to whom, who was nice and not so nice, the lines blur...........opinions soften..........and accusations cease to matter. It was a nice realization and brought a sense of peace. So.......saying good-bye and God Speed to another.....

Hope you all have a great safe is you need to be out in this coming weeks storms.